a minor ape
no real
only limits of reception
so no worry
those limits fade


worry becomes rule


lingering in the land
the shadows invite
and boredom terrors
no shame


why not a big day
a break
flight to light to day
why come back
they're not here

If an existing individual were really able to transcend himself, the truth would be for him something final and complete; but where is the point at which he is outside himself?

The I-am-I is a mathematical point which does not exist, and in so far there is nothing to prevent everyone from occupying this standpoint; the one will not be in the way of the other. It is only momentarily that the particular individual is able to realize existentially a unity of the infinite and the finite which transcends existence. This unity is realized in the moment of passion.

Modern philosophy has tried anything and everything in the effort to help the individual to transcend himself objectively, which is a wholly impossible feat; existence exercises its restraining influence, and if philosophers nowadays had not become mere scribblers in the service of a fantastic thinking and its preoccupation, they would long ago have perceived that suicide was the only tolerable practical interpretation of its striving.

But the scribbling modern philosophy holds passion in contempt; and yet passion is the culmination of existence for an existing individual--and we are all of us existing individuals. In passion the existing subject is rendered infinite in the eternity of the imaginative representation, and yet he is at the same time most definitely himself.


The fantastic I-am-I is not an identity of the infinite and the finite, since neither the one nor the other is real; it is a fantastic rendezvous in the clouds, an unfruitful embrace, and the relationship of the individual self to this mirage is never indicated.

The existing individual who chooses to pursue the objective way enters upon the entire approximation-process by which it is proposed to bring God to light objectively. But this is in all eternity impossible, because God is a subject, and therefore exists only for subjectivity in inwardness.

The existing individual who chooses the subjective way apprehends instantly the entire dialectical difficulty involved in having to use some time, perhaps a long time, in finding God objectively; and he feels this dialectical difficulty in all its painfulness, because every moment is wasted in which he does not have God.

That very instant he has God, not by virtue of any objective deliberation, but by virtue of the infinite passion of inward-ness.

The objective inquirer, on the other hand, is not embarrassed by such dialectical difficulties as are involved in devoting an entire period of investigation to finding God-since it is possible that the inquirer may die tomorrow; and if he lives he can scarcely regard God as something to be taken along if convenient, since God is precisely that which one takes a tout prix, which in the understanding of passion constitutes the true inward relationship to God.


PS. It becomes clear rather that the only way in which an existing individual comes into relation with God is when the dialectical contradiction brings his passion to the point of despair, and helps him to embrace God with the "category of despair" (faith).  It is then not so that God is a postulate, as that the existing individual's postulation of God is a necessity.

-soren 1846 Copenhagen

in dream thought

we wonder the same

and work on the real stuff

though it may feel confusion

there are no belief limitations

all out behaviour

sex drugs reading

are playing as if one could adjust

a factor of connectivity

turn up familyness

to feel safe for immediacy

yet if it feels that right

if you are aware of everything

it is hard

to get a wrong feeling

about something

you should trust

you are a dot in a field

fields

but once you realize

that

you begin to see + and -

connectivity

speed within a plane

different angles

shaking your head vigorously

might change your frequency

you see through things for they

are small outside time

as are you

like we're all

in this weird construct

trapped in it

you are creating this all

around you

once you see that your heart is the center

and you go down into that

into the spark of the heart muscle

you also go into dna

all your ancestors are there

for you are an impression forever

on code if you have children,

and indirectly, through your behaviour,

others and your own

your own decisions in the past

have created the code

which you experience

now but you connect to everything

through dna

and they all sit in my room

in my head and listen

when you are in the presence of another

dog or person

it confirms your belief

that your reality is real

all this talk about what is real

why write

why teach? entertainment?

leaving a path to get back

if one would ever

i experienced all my eyes

 a wonder

mother and dad working together

making it easy to work within me

whatever law pattern telling you not to ___

is the last hurdle

you don't

 it would be the reversal of love

but you could and then you begin to read code

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