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XUSG_C179EH

In a noble open space carpeted with grass on the high ground toward Vaucouleurs stood a most majestic beech tree with wide-reaching arms and a grand spread of shade, and by it a limpid spring of cold water; and on summer days the children went there— oh, every summer for more than five hundred years —went there and sang and danced around the tree for hours together, refreshing themselves at the spring from time to time, and it was most lovely and enjoyable.

Also they made wreaths of flowers and hung them upon the tree and about the spring to please the fairies that lived there; for they liked that, being idle innocent little creatures, as all fairies are, and fond of anything delicate and pretty like wild flowers put together in that way. And in return for this attention the fairies did any friendly thing they could for the children, such as keeping the spring always full and clear and cold, and driving away serpents and insects that sting; and so there was never any unkindness between the fairies and the children during more than five hundred years—tradition said a thousand—but only the warmest affection and the most perfect trust and confidence; and whenever a child died the fairies mourned just as that child's playmates did, and the sign of it was there to see; for before the dawn on the day of the funeral they hung a little immortelle over the place where that child was used to sit under the tree.

I know this to be true by my own eyes; it is not hearsay. And the reason it was known that the fairies did it was this— that it was made all of black flowers of a sort not known in France anywhere. Now from time immemorial all children reared in Domremy were called the Children of the Tree; and they loved that name, for it carried with it a mystic privilege not granted to any others of the children of this world.

Which was this: whenever one of these came to die, then beyond the vague and formless images drifting through his darkening mind rose soft and rich and fair a vision of the Tree —if all was well with his soul. That was what some said. Others said the vision came in two ways: once as a warning, one or two years in advance of death, when the soul was the captive of sin, and then the Tree appeared in its desolate winter aspect— then that soul was smitten with an awful fear. If repentance came, and purity of life, the vision came again, this time summer-clad and beautiful; but if it were otherwise with that soul the vision was withheld, and it passed from life knowing its doom. Still others said that the vision came but once, and then only to the sinless dying forlorn in distant lands and pitifully longing for some last dear reminder of their home. And what reminder of it could go to their hearts like the picture of the Tree that was the darling of their love and the comrade of their joys and comforter of their small griefs all through the divine days of their vanished youth?

Always, from the remotest times, when the children joined hands and danced around the Fairy Tree they sang a song which was the Tree's song, the song of L'Arbre fee de Bourlemont. They sang it to a quaint sweet air—a solacing sweet air which has gone murmuring through my dreaming spirit all my life when I was weary and troubled, resting me and carrying me through night and distance home again.

No stranger can know or feel what that song has been, through the drifting centuries, to exiled Children of the Tree, homeless and heavy of heart in countries foreign to their speech and ways. You will think it a simple thing, that song, and poor, perchance; but if you will remember what it was to us, and what it brought before our eyes when it floated through our memories, then you will respect it. And you will understand how the water wells up in our eyes and makes all things dim, and our voices break and we cannot sing the last lines:  

      "And when, in Exile wand'ring, we Shall fainting yearn for glimpse of thee, Oh, rise upon our sight!"

And you will remember that Joan of Arc sang this song with us around the Tree when she was a little child, and always loved it. And that hallows it, yes, you will grant that:

L'ARBRE FEE DE BOURLEMONT SONG OF THE CHILDREN

Now what has kept your leaves so green,

Arbre Fee de Bourlemont?

The children's tears!
They brought each grief, And you did comfort them and cheer

Their bruised hearts, and steal a tear

That, healed, rose a leaf.

And what has built you up so strong, Arbre Fee de Bourlemont?

The children's love! They've loved you long

Ten hundred years, in sooth,

They've nourished you with praise and song,

And warmed your heart and kept it young—
 A thousand years of youth!

Bide always green in our young hearts, Arbre Fee de Bourlemont!

And we shall always youthful be,
Not heeding Time his flight;

And when, in exile wand'ring, we Shall fainting yearn for glimpse of thee, Oh, rise upon our sight!

The fairies were still there when we were children, but we never saw them; because, a hundred years before that, the priest of Domremy had held a religious function under the tree and denounced them as being blood-kin to the Fiend and barred them from redemption; and then he warned them never to show themselves again, nor hang any more immortelles, on pain of perpetual banishment from that parish.

All the children pleaded for the fairies, and said they were their good friends and dear to them and never did them any harm, but the priest would not listen, and said it was sin and shame to have such friends. The children mourned and could not be comforted; and they made an agreement among themselves that they would always continue to hang flower-wreaths on the tree as a perpetual sign to the fairies that they were still loved and remembered, though lost to sight.

But late one night a great misfortune befell. Edmond Aubrey's mother passed by the Tree, and the fairies were stealing a dance, not thinking anybody was by; and they were so busy, and so intoxicated with the wild happiness of it, and with the bumpers of dew sharpened up with honey which they had been drinking, that they noticed nothing;

so Dame Aubrey stood there astonished and admiring, and saw the little fantastic atoms holding hands, as many as three hundred of them, tearing around in a great ring half as big as an ordinary bedroom, and leaning away back and spreading their mouths with laughter and song, which she could hear quite distinctly, and kicking their legs up as much as three inches from the ground in perfect abandon and hilarity —oh, the very maddest and witchingest dance the woman ever saw.

But in about a minute or two minutes the poor little ruined creatures discovered her. They burst out in one heartbreaking squeak of grief and terror and fled every which way, with their wee hazel-nut fists in their eyes and crying; and so disappeared.

The heartless woman —no, the foolish woman; she was not heartless, but only thoughtless— went straight home and told the neighbors all about it, whilst we, the small friends of the fairies, were asleep and not witting the calamity that was come upon us, and all unconscious that we ought to be up and trying to stop these fatal tongues.

In the morning everybody knew, and the disaster was complete, for where everybody knows a thing the priest knows it, of course. We all flocked to Pere Fronte, crying and begging —and he had to cry, too, seeing our sorrow, for he had a most kind and gentle nature; and he did not want to banish the fairies, and said so; but said he had no choice, for it had been decreed that if they ever revealed themselves to man again, they must go.

This all happened at the worst time possible, for Joan of Arc was ill of a fever and out of her head, and what could we do who had not her gifts of reasoning and persuasion? We flew in a swarm to her bed and cried out, "Joan, wake! Wake, there is no moment to lose! Come and plead for the fairies— come and save them; only you can do it!"

But her mind was wandering, she did not know what we said nor what we meant; so we went away knowing all was lost. Yes, all was lost, forever lost; the faithful friends of the children for five hundred years must go, and never come back any more.

It was a bitter day for us, that day that Pere Fronte held the function under the tree and banished the fairies. We could not wear mourning that any could have noticed, it would not have been allowed; so we had to be content with some poor small rag of black tied upon our garments where it made no show; but in our hearts we wore mourning, big and noble and occupying all the room, for our hearts were ours; they could not get at them to prevent that.

The great tree—l'Arbre Fee de Bourlemont was its beautiful name —was never afterward quite as much to us as it had been before, but it was always dear; is dear to me yet when I go there now, once a year in my old age, to sit under it and bring back the lost playmates of my youth and group them about me and look upon their faces through my tears and break my heart, oh, my God!

No, the place was not quite the same afterward. In one or two ways it could not be; for, the fairies' protection being gone, the spring lost much of its freshness and coldness, and more than two-thirds of its volume, and the banished serpents and stinging insects returned, and multiplied, and became a torment and have remained so to this day. When that wise little child, Joan, got well, we realized how much her illness had cost us; for we found that we had been right in believing she could save the fairies.

She burst into a great storm of anger, for so little a creature, and went straight to Pere Fronte, and stood up before him where he sat, and made reverence and said: "The fairies were to go if they showed themselves to people again, is it not so?" "Yes, that was it, dear."

"If a man comes prying into a person's room at midnight when that person is half-naked, will you be so unjust as to say that that person is showing himself to that man?" "Well— no."

The good priest looked a little troubled and uneasy when he said it. "Is a sin a sin, anyway, even if one did not intend to commit it?" Pere Fronte threw up his hands and cried out: "Oh, my poor little child, I see all my fault," and he drew her to his side and put an arm around her and tried to make his peace with her, but her temper was up so high that she could not get it down right away, but buried her head against his breast and broke out crying and said:

"Then the fairies committed no sin, for there was no intention to commit one, they not knowing that any one was by;

and because they were little creatures and could not speak for themselves and say the law was against the intention, not against the innocent act, because they had no friend to think that simple thing for them and say it, they have been sent away from their home forever, and it was wrong, wrong to do it!"

Mark Twain

JOAN

sometimes you're a planet

sometimes a rock

or a squirrel

you remember it all

the roles

but language thank god

cant describe them

whatever "you" is

it is one of these

faces in plays

on  shuffle

so (you) get to be

a tree, crud

a swallow

now

rewarding liquid

over stone

to see the Wizard

Joy,

I hope you have a great morning and evening.

There is little closer then a sister.

I wrote this when i was 44:

We see reality as babies before our eyes see anything.

Then the outside begins to impose frameworks

of order upon us to keep us in line.

They do a good job.

That narrow white line of light

we cant focus on.

The rest was crap.

Love.

everything changed

when we were buying

water touching

everywhere on my island

outdoors a mocking bird

sharing

random shuttle

no filter of intent

cept for me

and this

casting out lines like a thrownet

for two fool ideas caught

on the same line

 

 

my generation

lost the greeks

our parents gave them away

jim was their last mask

you dont need matter

at a beginning

just energy

a push

long

matter

is chilled energy

creating space

and time

gravity is a process

of matter

and space

so energy?

where is yours

the  unexplainable

but behind the stalls

nestled in the bone

reading me

youre not chilled energy

youre a flower in a field

of radiation

trying to brighten

lone or in

Lonely Frisco for me  then--which  would  buzz a few years  later when my soul got stranger.  Now I was only a youth on a  mountain.  I stooped, looked  down between my legs,  and watched the world upside down.  The  brown  hills led  off towards Nevada; to  the South  was my legendary Hollywood;  to the North the mysterious Shasta country.  Down  below was everything; the barracks where we stole our tiny box of condiments, when  Dostioffski's tiny face had glared  at us, where  Henry had me hide the toy gun and where our squeaking yells had  transpired.  I spun around till I was dizzy; I thought I'd  fall down as in a  dream, clear off the precipice.   "Oh where is the girl I  love?"

I  thought, and looked everywhere,  as I had looked everywhere in the little world below.

And before me was the great raw bulge and bulk of my American continent; somewhere far across gloomy crazy New York was throwing up  its cloud of dust and brown steam.  There is something brown and holy  about the  East; and California is white like washlines  and  empty souled --at least thats what I thought then.  I'd learn better later.  Now it was time  to pursue my moon along.

In the morning  Henri and Diane were asleep as I quietly packed and slipped out the  window the same way I'd come in, and left Marin City with my canvas bag.  And I never spent that night on the old ghostship and Henri and I were lost.

                                 jack's scroll -1949