my high school car
any part of my life
replayed in video loads
my same town, same purchases
progressing in denial 
of my identity
presuming one i did not have

but a long remembering 
before death
when action is gnostalgia
as if daydreams 
were different from 
nightdreams

where behind the glass
what isn't artifice
is fake audience
controlling nonetheless
some intention
any "vision"

as if when i imagine more
i do it quicker
until its over

clarity
transparency
the horizon beckons
her smile widens
and my soul reaches out
frittering in the twilight
beyond the trees, past a river
'cross from a town
i left this morning
before coming to the reality
ducks in a row
fit for a gander
and a hat to tip
without cliche

a rough hewn morning
crying vowels
fleeing from symbol
that cloud the sky

opening the projection box
fixing the screen
the film unreels
before the bulb
from the Power cord
behind the seat

in his dance
on our walks
i see the mu
everything in the dog

waiting scared for the ambulance
a trip line to a quick end

if the earth does not know of us
will the earth know of me
when i pass
like the earth
i will spring after winter
into eight legged squashers
and holy vermin

why be clean now
why feel
if the earth will not feel
after i leave

rather why not thrill
from the valley
seek the wave in the next
should it be my last

this trail
marked in ice
and a pleasant companion
the earth cannot know

the cross
i crawl its beams
i've seen the grain
the edge
its nail

it is night
lightning
with the two others
on this hill
and the mass below

my tomb, so welcome
must i leave it in the morn
swim in the road again
with fire as my guide

the sky will not hold me
the stars and moon try
but clouds inside
are not lifting

yet step by step
hand by hand
i scramble 'cross the wood

after the court
after the betrayals
never to cry out 
for sake

for this time of stone
a sound of machines
of the grind, the wind
and the watch's eye